At Everyone is Gay, Kristin (right) and Dannielle (left) are girls who like girls who give advice to those who are confused about sexuality, gender-identity, dating, falling in love, or even dressing up like Super Woman. Here on CherryGRRL, these two adorable and brilliant ladies are sharing some of that wonderfully witty advice with our readers, monthly, via this column: The Everyone is Gay Advice Corner with Kristin + Dannielle.
Q: Is it okay to keep things from past relationships such as letters and gifts?
- Question submitted by Anonymous
I think absolutely.
Also, though, I’m the exact opposite of a hoarder. I throw EVERYTHING away. I keep a journal and I paste things in there, tickets, notes, cards, passes, etc. So, that kind of happens as I’m going through different relationships. I don’t really have like, a box for each ex with trinkets and what not, but I do keep little momentos that way.
Also, my favorite teddy bear in the entire world I got form my boyfriend when I was 18 years old… and that bear is literally my favorite thing on earth. One time I thought I lost it at SUSANS LAUNDRY and I legit fell to my knees and started bawling.
It’s hard to explain to someone you’re dating that you want to keep something an ex gave you, but I think it’s at least worth the conversation. We all keep things, either by accident or on purpose and these things are tiny pieces of our past. It’s like when you look through your bathroom drawer back home and you find a note your bffe wrote to you when you were in 6th grade. You might not be best friends anymore, you might not understand ANY of the words in that note, but it’s still a super fun little thing to run across, it connects you with who you used to be, you know?
I agree, I think it is okay – to a point.
Each relationship we have with someone shapes us in a very specific way, and holding on to a letter that has importance to you is completely healthy. If you have a giant bin full of letters that you re-read each night before bed then we have a problem… but if you have a few items that are meaningful, that makes sense and is totally cool.
In my very first relationship, my girlfriend gave me a journal that she had kept for me of the first few months of our relationship. We had spent a summer together falling in love with each other, and many of those tiny moments were documented in her words. I kept that journal, and fourteen years later (!!!) I have a record of the first time I ever fell in love. That doesn’t mean I am still in love with that person – but it does mean I cherish the fact that I have a record of such an incredible time in my life.
Also, at one point in that relationship we watched the movie “Better Than Chocolate,” (LOLOL) and there is a scene where they paint each other and then lay on a big sheet and make art out of their bodies and we were like OMG COOL and so we did it, too, but we used actual paint and TURNS OUT that when ACTUAL PAINT dries on your NAKED SKIN it feels like a million knives and is horrible and totally not romantic. My point is… I TOTALLY STILL HAVE THAT SHEET YOU GUYS. HAHAHAHAHA.
So, keep a couple of items (literally, 2-3 is plenty) that mean something to you because in ten years those memories will help you understand how you became you.
Addendum: If your last boo bought you 14 diamond necklaces you should ignore the 2-3 rule and keep all of them because one day you will need a house. #pawnstars
(Question #2 on next page)