The Everyone is Gay Advice Corner with Kristin + Dannielle: On a First Name Bi-sis

At Everyone is Gay, Kristin (right) and Dannielle (left) are girls who like girls who give advice to those who are confused about sexuality, gender-identity, dating, falling in love, or even dressing up like Super Woman. Here on CherryGRRL, these two adorable and brilliant ladies are sharing some of that wonderfully witty advice with our readers, monthly, via this column: The Everyone is Gay Advice Corner with Kristin + Dannielle.

How weird would it be for me to date a girl with the same first name as me?

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says: 

About as weird as a deer taking a poop in the woods.


One time I had a crush on a boy named Daniel and I was like ‘ugh I can’t date him bc Dannielle and Daniel???’ … turns out I couldn’t date him bc he didn’t like me, so problem solved.

BUT LIKE ALSO I know at least four couples with the same name. It’s great bc people are never like ‘oh yea your girlfriend…uuuhhhhh’ cuz it’s YOUR NAME aaaaaaaaand It’s impossible to avoid bc every pregnant woman in 1989 thought “Lauren” was the god damned prettiest name.

Kristin Says:

It’s almost inevitable. I suggest taking on an addendum to your given name for ease of use. For example:

Lauren “twinkletoes” and Lauren “toast and jam” or

Jen “sugartits” and Jen “hoobastank” or

Amanda “teletubby” and Amanda “beanie baby” or

Mary “one” and Mary “two”

Also three out of four of those above pairs are actual lesbian couples I know… so I will now be referring to them by those fantastic nicknames.

Is it really okay to be bi? I almost feel like it’s cheating :(

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

Ugh… that does not look cute, but you guys, WHATEVER. I would like to, on behalf of the entire community, apologize to you. I am so sorry that ANYONE ON EARTH has made you feel like being who you are is anything less than perfect. I am sorry that people in YOUR OWN community, have made you feel like you must ‘choose.’ I am sorry that the very world which tells you to accept everyone, has made you feel completely unaccepted.

You, my dear friend, are not cheating on anything. You’re not cheating the gays, you’re not cheating the straighties. You’re not cheating.

You’re literally just recognizing a piece of yourself. I think that’s awesome. If anyone looks you in the eye and says something negative about the way you identify, give them a good solid punch in the throat and say it’s from me. ******

You are perfect. You are bi. You are going to fall in love with the greatest human.

****** doesn’t want you to punch people.

Kristin Says:

Cheating on what?
You know?!

People like people like people like PEOPLE. It’s like… just because I happen to bone ladies and have exclusively mashed mouths with ladies for the past howevermany years doesn’t mean that I don’t think some boys are SUPER FINE, and doesn’t mean that if presented with the right opportunity I wouldn’t have mashed my mouth on another boy’s mouth. So what even makes me gay and not bi or pan or {insert newest term used to describe something that I might be}? Me thinking some boys are cute doesn’t mean that I am any less attracted to ladies. You liking whoever you like doesn’t make you any less of anything.

You aren’t cheating. You are saying that you are attracted – romantically, sexually, or otherwise – to various human beings and that those attractions are not solely dependent on one form of gender presentation. You are being honest with yourself and with others about those attractions. You have decided that those attractions align you with the identity known as “bisexual.” You are a real person. Your feelings are real and valid and fucking amazing.



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