The Everyone is Gay Advice Corner with Kristin + Dannielle: Adopting Gay Porn

At Everyone is Gay, Kristin (right) and Dannielle (left) are girls who like girls who give advice to those who are confused about sexuality, gender-identity, dating, falling in love, or even dressing up like Super Woman. Here on CherryGRRL, these two adorable and brilliant ladies are sharing some of that wonderfully witty advice with our readers, monthly, via this column: The Everyone is Gay Advice Corner with Kristin + Dannielle.

Q: My mom adopted me as a single mother, and I was a baby when I was adopted. I’m gay, and I feel guilty coming out to her. I almost feel like she went through all the trouble to get me and now she has a “defected” kid. I know there is nothing wrong with being gay, I just feel bad that she didn’t get the kid that she probably wanted.

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says: 

OH MY GOD YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.

You are perfect. You have to understand that your mom didn’t pick you based on the fact that she thought you’d be a straightie, there was something that happened inside her heart that let her know the two of you belong together. This feeling is something that is unconditional and is not based on anything besides the fact that the two of you are soul mates.

Talk to your mom. She loves you. It might be totally hard, it might be totally awkward, it might be totally weird, BUT the two of you will work through it. Things like this take time, which I understand. It took my mom YEARS to come around and be as supportive as she is now. My dad, though (who adopted me BTW) was immediately supportive. He didn’t even blink before he told me how much he loved me and was just happy that I was happy.

No matter what happens, remember that you are perfect, you are not defected in any way, and unconditional love can get you through just about anything. Have faith in your mom. She loves you so much.

Kristin Says:

OH BOO BOO.

Can I call you boo boo?

I want to give you the biggest hug and then cradle you in my arms while you tell your mom that you’re gay. That would probably be really weird… but what I mean to say is that I wish that I could help make that moment feel a little bit less terrifying for you.

Here is the thing about being a parent – your love for your child is something that is constant, although at times it is tested in various ways. Your mom might struggle in reconciling the images she had of your future with the reality that is you as a growing-up human. She might give you a huge hug and tell you that she loves you no matter what. She might be confused, and that confusion might come out as anger. She might cry. She might wink at you and say, “I know, baby.”

There is no way to know how she will respond, but the fact that you want to be honest with her about who you are means that you value her and you value your relationship. Make sure she knows those things, and be patient with her if she isn’t exactly perfect in responding.

Always, always remember that you are so important to her. I am sure that “the kid she wanted” is one who would love her, be honest with her, and stand by her side through thick and thin. Gay kids can do that just as much as any kid.

(Question #2 on next page)

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