Sleeping with the Enemy

By Laura

I have something that I need to confess. Some of you may find this upsetting, some will feel that no harm was done, and – for the most part – the majority of you won’t care either way. I recently spent 2 nights with the Manchester Grand Hyatt in San Diego… and I liked it.

Those of you who just became angry that the Editor of a lesbian media outlet stayed at this particular hotel are obviously familiar with the relationship that it has had with the LGBT community. Briefly, the owner of the property (Doug Manchester) donated $125K in 2008 to the campaign that successfully banned same-sex marriage in the state of California (Proposition 8), resulting in a boycott from gay and lesbian individuals and our supporters and allies. Cherry Grrl even promoted this boycott. Then, more recently, Manchester claimed to have a change of heart and offered to cement his new feelings with a commitment of $125K to LGBT organizations. This act did little to enhance the tarnished reputation of the impressive Hyatt property among gays and lesbians, but statements by out representatives of the Grand Hyatt (like Kelly Commerford, the Director of Marketing) that explained the relationship between his company and his company’s property owner did raise the issue of whether or not the right people were suffering because of one man’s actions and decisions. Groups like Californians Against Hate (established in July 2008 to draw attention to the major donors to the Yes on Prop 8 campaign) have been influential in the loss of a significant amount of business for the San Diego hotel; affecting – as Commerford has stated – the staff, far more than the property owner.

So, with all of that in mind, we spoke to Kelly Commerford about it. Then, while in the Southern California area, we decided to personally visit the hotel and see for ourselves what the atmosphere was like. Would we find a gay or lesbian employee being treated badly – or find one at all? Would we see any gay or lesbian guests being discriminated against? How would they treat us if we asked for a king bed instead of two queens at check in (by the way…how many times have you still ended up with 2 fulls no matter what you tell them at check in?)?

See, the thing is, Hyatts are really nice hotels. (Including the Andaz properties. Side note: If you are ever in the West Hollywood area and looking for a place to stay that doesn’t come equipped with d-baggy scenesters pre-gaming for a night out on the Sunset Strip, then stay at the Andaz West Hollywood. Style without trying-too-hard-trendiness, free coffee and wine in the “living room,” personal concierges in lieu of a front desk, a rooftop pool that rivals the views of the rich people in the mansions up the hill behind you, and guest rooms with unique and well-executed features are just a few of the things that set this place apart.) In fact, the Manchester Grand Hyatt in downtown San Diego is one of the nicest in the area and is situated right in the amazingly beautiful San Diego Bay. The hotel boasts 2 waterfront towers, multiple restaurants, spacious accommodations with breathtaking views, and a host of other amenities. So we had to ask: do we really have to deny ourselves the fun of staying at a luxury hotel in an awesome city because the guy who owns the land it’s on doesn’t (or didn’t) want us to have the right to marry? Tricky.

My experience as a lesbian traveler who visited the Manchester Grand Hyatt was that the hotel was extremely gay friendly. I came across several openly gay staffers at the hotel during my two days and didn’t at any point get a strange look for holding my girlfriend’s hand. It was a pleasant stay from the parking attendant to the waitress in the sports bar and in every aspect had the feel of a luxury hotel where you can truly relax and feel comfortable while away from home, no matter who you are.

In conclusion, I don’t have the answer to the question of whether or not a hotel that sits on land owned by someone who helped pass Prop 8 is worthy of a boycott. In my opinion, however, the goal of a boycott is to put someone out of business and should that happen here it wouldn’t really be Doug Manchester who would suffer. It would be Kelly Commerford (who took his time to talk to an online lesbian magazine), the 350 LGBT employees of the hotel, and the many guests who would benefit from staying there. Would that be a small price to pay for getting back at someone who caused great pain to an entire community of people? Perhaps. But what if Manchester really did learn his lesson and truly doesn’t have much to do with the hotel in the first place? It’s possible, then, that we would only be hurting ourselves… because it’s a pretty nice place to stay.