Saucy Monky: Bon Appetit(ties), Lesbians!

Warm autumn nights always pair well with good company, live music, cold beers, weight gain (as a direct effect of the latter) and flannels (good for all seaons, obvi). Such was the case last Friday night at the Saucy Monky show at the Farmer’s Market concert series at the Grove. This is by far one of my favorite venues in LA to check out live bands. How can it not be when I’m surrounded by every type of food imaginable, people from all walks of life, and cheap booze? Yes. Yes, please.

Comprised of Cynthia Catania, Annmarie Cullen, Megan Jane, and Steve Giles (Vagiles) – three (easy on the eyes) lady-loving ladies and one kickass lover of the lady-loving ladies, they can undoubtedly rock a stage something fierce. Ladies, need I say more?

Formed in 2001 by Annmarie and Cynthia, they’ve shared the stage with bands as PJ Harvey, P!nk, and the The Black Eyed Peas to namedrop a few. If you ask me, they are by far the one of the most underrated bands out there. Cynthia on vocals, guitar, keys, and accordion. Annmarie on vocals and guitar. Steve on bass. Megan on drums. This is a recipe for something magical… like a unicorn. You like unicorns, right?

I’ve been a huge fan of Saucy Monky for years. I leave it to fate when I met them years ago on a Friday night at Truck Stop, which comes as no surprise to me. That’s where all things good stem from right? (Insert wink here.) It was just my luck that they had a double set that night. Over 2 hours and 26 songs of music that anyone could get lost in. I often wonder if they broke into my house and took the pages straight out of my journal. Did they lay in my bed and rest their pretty heads on my pillow as they read every tear-soaked page? A girl could only wish. With lyrics like “And you wanted some space so I gave you some space. Was the space you were talking about someone else’s bedroom? And I am cast aside like Tuesday’s trash and I wish you would communicate.” Oh, Saucy, stop living my life.

In “All the Things You Know,” Cynthia’s voice during the bridge seems to always give me goose bumps even when I have the alcohol sweats. These are the moments that I wish I had the ability to rewind and replay. You know exactly what I’m talking about – remember all of Shane’s sex scenes that you rewound? Pervert.

“Stop pounding those beers, Jamie,” I say to myself. I wouldn’t want to piss like a race horse and miss any of this show (including Cynthia’s almost-nipple slips). Steve’s skills on the bass, with a pick placed conveniently on his forehead for easy access, and Megan pounding that drum as if she was perfectly in sync with my heartbeat. “Don’t break the seal, Jamie.”

Then there came Annmarie’s “4:47.” More haunting lyrics guaranteed to tug at anyone’s heartstrings. “Don’t think you’ll be the cure but I bet you’ll be the Novocain.” Trust me, you’ll relate to it, even if you swear your heart is black.

“Put your phone away, Jamie. There will be no tipsy texting tonight.”

If you don’t find yourself singing along to “Awkward” from their newly-released album, “Trophy Girl,” I would swear you laugh when babies cry. It’s as catchy as it gets and something we can all identify with. You’ll want to watch their music video as well.

Please take my advice (because we all know I don’t take my own) – soak it all in and eat it all up. It’s good for you.

Saucy Monky

Eargasmic melodies and intoxicating beats that’ll have you tapping your dyke boot.

Servings: Soul-filling but inevitable that you’ll ask for seconds.

Ingredients

3 Vaginas

1 Vagiles

6 Handfuls of Breasts

Heap full of talent

Generous helpings of sexy

Voices like butter

Cream (optional)

Directions

Combine ingredients

Place ingredients on a stage

Listen

Dance

Feel

Swoon

Let stand 10 min after the show to close out your tab and muster up the confidence to ask one of them out.

See you at their next show – November 28th at the House of Blues in San Diego.

For more info, check out saucymonky.com.

 

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