Recap: The Real L Word, Season 3, Episode 9 – Perfect Day

The last episode of the season! Thank you jebus! I feel like I’m back in high school at basketball practice, and my coach just screamed “last one!” during suicides.

I actually thought there were 10 episodes for some reason, so I’m as pumped as is humanly possible to get this recap rolling. Have we all reached our Romi limit yet? If not, this episode should put you over the top. Here we go, for the last time.

It’s a month after last episode ended, and we see Whitney and Sara doing the typical pre-wedding bickering over important matters like wedding invitation stamps. Whitney tells us that she and Sara “literally want to kill each other.” Does that mean they’ve been trading gunshots and shiv attacks all week, a la Mr. and Mrs. Smith? If so, why wasn’t that in the episode? (I admit I love being a jerk when people misuse the word “literally.”) After cleaning blood off the walls (not really), Whitney gets a text message from her father, asking if he can still come to the wedding. Aww. Good for him, that’s one less thing to add to his future therapy playlist. And no matter how cool you are, your parents bailing on you stings, so Whitney looks relieved and happy about his timely change of heart.

Back in Brooklyn, Hunter Valentine is auditioning Somer’s replacement, a friend of theirs from Canada named Aimee.

They all jam together for a bit, and Aimee meets the major requirement of showing up on time, so Kiyomi informs her she got the job.

Romi and Dusty are in the studio “working” which for them, means making out and being ridiculous.Clearly it didn’t take them long to move on from their previous significant others – which brings up something that’s been driving me crazy all week. Romi has been on a press campaign to make it seem like lesbians hate her because she’s bisexual and married to a man. If you feel like being annoyed, you can read the interviews here (link: http://sdgln.com/social/2012/09/07/real-l-word-romi-klinger-bisexual) and here (link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/02/the-real-l-word-romi-klinger-bisexuality-_n_1850158.html). Her main point seems to be:

“The lesbians are looking at you like you’re kind of a traitor, you don’t know what side you want — you’re not really one of them. And then, the more straight community’s going, ‘Oh, you’re kind of slutty!”

I can only speak for one lesbian here (myself), but I’m not looking at her like she’s a traitor or a slut, I’m looking at her like she’s a manipulative, selfish deludinoid who actually gives bisexual people a bad name. It’s not the fact that she flits between men and women like a mosquito at a barbecue – it’s that she cheats on people, lies about it, and is generally incredibly disingenuous onscreen. That goes for the show and her love life. Most evolved feminists realize the word “slut” is problematic, and I honestly don’t care how much tail another person gets. That said, treating Kelsey like she’s an appetizer? Telling us she was in love with Jay one moment, then cheating on him the next? Telling us she was in love with Kelsey one moment, and then professing that Dusty is her OMG soulmate forever the next episode? You’re annoying, fake, and you treat people like crap. That’s why people (lesbians, me, etc.) don’t like you. One last thing – I’d really love it if she’d stop telling national press that lesbians are mean to bisexuals and no one understands her plight. Believe me, after watching 3 seasons worth of her special brand of crazy, I understand it perfectly, she’s batshit insane. And we all know crazy knows no sexuality.

Now, back to the episode – do I think her and Dusty’s hasty decision to get married was an attention grab from Whitney/Sara? Yes, I actually do. I think she’s jealous and wants what they have – whether that’s consciously or not. Do I think it’s a really annoying storyline in the face of Proposition 8 and the ongoing battle for the legality of gay marriage in this country? Yes and no. Yes, because I’m sick of being reminded that straight people can decide to get married in 15 seconds, or the time it takes to order cheeseburgers, while gay people have to drive across state lines and hope the union is held up in their home state. And also no, because the Romi/Dusty wedding really drives home the ridiculousness of denying gay people the right to marry. Romi and Dusty, who have been together for a cool 10 minutes, can get married with no issues, while gay couples who have been together for years can’t? It rather effectively sets the whole “sanctity” argument on fire.

I’m still sick to death of them. Romi uses the words “in love” like normal people use the word “okay” and “hello.”

(continued on next page)

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