Recap: The Real L Word, Season 3, Episode 5 – I Wasn’t Expecting This

You know what I wasn’t expecting? How much I love Whitney & Sara this season, and in this episode especially. Crazy what a couple of years and an annoying new cast will do for your perspective. I might even vote for them if they ran for president. Or at least for co-mayors of West Hollywood. Either way, once again they seem like the most normal people on Crazy Island. Up is down, black is white; I don’t even know what to think anymore. Here we go.

Amanda tells Lauren that she and her ex-who-is-not-really-an-ex have decided to give things another go, and that her status in LA is undecided for now. Lauren, who hasn’t exactly been playing her cards close to the vest, is not amused. She passive aggressively tells Amanda to make sure she gives her enough time to get a new roommate before she bounces back to New York. This seems like a reasonable request despite the underlying shade, but Amanda thinks that’s “so extreme.”

No, paying double rent/bills for no damned reason is extreme, this is the most reasonable thing that’s come out of Lauren’s mouth in like a month. And now I have “Bills, bills, bills” stuck in my head.

Meanwhile, Kelsey and Romi are packing for Dinah Shore. Just when you think Romi can’t get anymore obnoxious (and it does get worse later on), she tells us that she and Kelsey are working Dinah Shore this year, because they’re of the rare species lesbiana celebritus, commonly referred to as “celesbian.” Since there are so few of them in the world, they’re in high demand, and thusly, will be very busy during Dinah Shore. Okay, first, if you refer to yourself as a celesbian, you pretty much aren’t one. Second, I am constantly surprised (and impressed) by the number of lesbians I talk to who have never seen this show. I’m fairly sure even lesbians don’t know who the hell she is. Third, I don’t think she understands the meaning of the word “celebrity” very well. Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi – celesbians. Jane Lynch – celesbian.  Tracy Chapman – celesbian. Megan Rapinoe – celesbian. Seeing a trend here Romi? They’re people that aren’t obnoxious famewhores, who have done something with their lives other than get banged with a strap-on in front of a film crew. There’s a difference.

Romi does the usual hating on Sara/Whitney/all other lesbians, and tells Kelsey to stay by her side at all times at Dinah, so she’s not left to the “wolves.” I hope she packed some kind of calming pills along with her never-ending supply of douche hats, or someone might get axed.

(Continued on next page)

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