A lot of loose ends and old history were brought up in this week’s episode of The Good Wife. We’ve got terrorists, we’ve got rap music, we’ve got teenage facial piercings. Not to mention the smoking hot Julianna Margulies playing tortured and twisted, which is when her talent is best showcased. I know I have to say this because CBS executives put a horse head in my bed and I’m pretty sure that was some type of warning, but this week really was a shining example of why this show is awesome. Relateable characters living comfortably in moral greyness, just like real life. Don’t just read about it, watch it. But also read about it, because this takes a lot of time to write while in a turkey coma.
It’s grand jury time. We listen to alderman Matthew Wade on the phone with fundraiser Royce Crombie. Royce hates being in the spotlight, so he offed himself. I hate being in the spotlight too, which is why I lie to people about when my birthday is so I never get thrown a surprise party. That leaves Wade on the hook for maybe but probably not but definitely saying he took money from terrorists for his campaign. Did you know the law allows us to have 30-second private conversations, even when being wire tapped? Isn’t that so very nice of them? Wade used to be a baller, but lets not judge him on that. Lets focus on the terrorist loving side of him, shall we? After all, he is Muslim. We all know what that means. He probably doesn’t eat pork. I just can’t trust a person who doesn’t love bacon.
Wade and Will play a little ball while Tammy adorably sits on the side lines. Wade seems to know all about Will being in love with Alicia…who, just in time, calls Will to tell him nothing.
Kalinda and Blake sit by and wait for clues. For as good a secret keeper as Kalinda is, she just keeps showing her hand to Blake! Figuratively. She tells him she thinks he put that witness (from like, 3 episodes ago) into a coma. Blake isn’t cute, but tries to cutely deny it. I don’t think it’s very likely someone ELSE broke into his house to open a can on him the same night Blake broke into his house and collected evidence.
Hannah is actually cute, and she’s really not into love. Just FYI. Don’t fall in love with her. She will break up with you. When Will and Alicia find out the charge is taking money from extremists, Will hands it off to Diane. Why do jurys love wire taps? I hate wire taps. Diane wants to blame this on Blago and his hair (yeah, I totally made a super tired Blagojevich hair joke. What of it?) and witch hunts. The plan is to boot the terrorism charge, obviously. Kalinda and Blake are going to follow the money, Alicia and Julius and a bunch of other lawyer types are going to listen to all the tapes. Which sounds like a ton of fun. A year’s worth of phone conversations in a blazing hot room with broken earphones and a broken chair, with no vodka. You guys, no vodka! Cruelty. Alicia is going to learn a lot of helpful info I think… Starting with Eli on the tapes.
What’s that girl’s name who is way too hot to be legitimately into Zach? Whatever. We’ll call her Cherise. Cherise and Zach can’t believe their fake Glen Childs Jr. faceplace account only has 57 friends. It’s clearly because he doesn’t share enough links to funny animal videos. They decide it’s because he doesn’t stir up enough trouble. Why does everyone want to play the race card in this show?? They make the correct choice to make a HI-larious double rainbow parody instead.
Tammy surprises Will with tickets to some kind of game which causes Will to pull a mini Tom Cruise. Only thing better than a smiling puppy picture is a 20-minute nooner. Alicia tells Diane and Julius that Eli’s been tapped. They connect the dots to what will surely be the season’s finale, the Feds coming after Peter based on the same dirty money trail.
Kalinda wants Cary to feed her some info. And some peeled grapes. Not really, cause gross. Instead, he tells her that the police found her fingerprints at the crime scene from that guy in the coma. Cary stood up for her, saving her from suspicion, for a minute. Kalinda finds out the weapon in the assault was a baseball bat, and hers just happens to be missing.
Alicia paces listening to the tapes. Eli compliments her, saying she’s smart but doesn’t know everything about the campaign. Speaking of Eli, he gets an angry call from Childs’ camp. They aren’t happy about that double rainbow video. It may imply Childs is a pedophile. They are less than thrilled, and promise to come after Peter’s kids. I don’t really understand how Childs has a new manager so quickly and he keeps talking about all of Eli’s promises. But who cares, Alicia finds the tape. The extremist was definitely a joke, lots of laughing. Alicia doesn’t want to talk on Alicia’s tapped phone. Diane gets the ‘in my opinion’ lawyer from last season, played by Anna Gasteyer. She was not topless. Her opinion is that it’s all a joke, and the government has no sense of humor. Extremists might have bought Wade’s support for a Mosque though.