Recap: Skins, Episode 6

OK, where are these kids’ parents? Honestly. Who from Baltimore, MD, goes camping in Canada? Seriously?!  This was a disjointed and can I just say, odd, episode. Usually the episodes get into the family and home life of the character whom the episode is named after. However, we know nothing (nor learn anything about) Abbud’s parents or home life during this episode.

The kids are taken to a camp where their weird – and I think a little dangerous – teacher, David, went when he was a kid. They hit a moose (yes, a moose) with the bus on the way there and their teacher tries to bring it back to life (!?)

At the border, Stanley has the bright idea of putting drugs up his butt to make it through, so they can have smoke on their school camping trip. Because what would a Skins episode be without blatant teenage drug use? No one seems to notice or care though because everyone is in love with Tea. I mean seriously, the only one who isn’t is Michelle but even she has a direct connection with her because her boyfriend is going through a “phase” where he only wants Tea. Ok, so let’s get this straight, just so we’re all on the same page: Tony loves Tea, Betty loves Tea, Abbud loves Tea, Michelle loves Tony (that’s clearly ending), and Stanley loves Michelle, and Chris is out of the circle… he’s hot for teacher. Is anyone ever happy on this show?  I guess that’s why it’s so addicting to watch, because there is so much drama… unhappy drama.

Betty and Tea chat around the camp fire (did anyone else notice that Betty just seemed to appear? And she wasn’t on the bus?)  They laugh and flirt and Tony watches them. David falls from a high poll that everyone at the camp is supposed to “conquer.”

Daisy and Michelle come upon some adorably in love woodsman who end up smoking them up – convenient since Stanley has the worst timing ever and has contracted some constipation issues that prevent him from getting the weed out of his ass. P.S. – who would want to smoke it now?

Chris kisses his teacher and then ends up hooking up with her in the middle of the woods. Talk about a camping trip I missed in high school! Abbud confesses his love for Tea and tries to kiss her but she says  “I’m not wired that way” and then Tony seems to be having trouble with super sexy Michelle, because of his infatuation with “not wired that way” Tea. Is it just me, or is this Tony character a real douche?

Betty finds Tea in her tent and tries to plant one on her, saying she just wants to get to know her better. Tea says no, and Betty leaves, hurt and confused. Stanley is still on the toilet trying to get rid of the drugs in his ass – he actually spends the whole episode there.

Abbud thinks they are being chased by a chainsaw murderer and ends up going for a nightly stroll, ending up in the back of a bloody truck. (Don’t worry – I’m as confused as you.) Covered in animal blood, he jumps out and runs from the danger of being hacked into a million little pieces and in an attempt to save Tea walks in on her and Tony having sex. I guess she is wired that way. The best line award in this episode goes to Tony who then shoots off with “Was it any better this time?” Tea replies with “No.” Your connection is friends, losers.

Tea then goes looking for Abbud, knowing he will be pissed that she is in fact “wired that way,” just with someone other than him.  She explains to Abbud that her and Tony have some weird connection and she’s confused because she’s so scared to commit to a girl – that maybe it’s not right and blah blah blah. She’s 16, so she gets one shot at confusion, now she has to decide. Smoking hot and gay Betty or Douche but still pretty cute and charmingly straight Tony? (Please pick A.) Abbud and Tea are both confused about different things, and they share the moment. Then, SPLAT, Abbud falls from the same tall pole Dave fell from at the start of the episode.

And that’s how Abbud dies.

No, I’m totally kidding, but it would have been quite the twist. He’s on a stretcher and Tea kisses his forehead and tells him she loves him. He responds with: “So do I, a lot.”

Oh, if only Tea were actually wired that way – Abbud and Tea would be together forever.

Oh yeah, Stanley finally pooped out the weed. Thank God.

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