Pretty Little Liars has brought us plenty of creepiness, confusion, and confessions this season, with this weeks finale being no exception. After last weeks dud, the show really stepped it up. Toby returns, Spencer reveals a pattern, “glamping” is totally a word now, and A is revealed, sorta. Lace up your hiking boots and find your buddy, it’s Camp Mona time.
A has promised him/herself as a prize at the end of a scavenger hunt at Mona’s bday party, so of course the friends have to go. Only problem is, Hanna and Mona are on the outs. Mona wants Hanna to blow off school for shopping and $20 salads just like the good old days. But timing is everything. Hanna has just learned their house is in foreclosure, so she’s trying to tighten her purse strings a bit. After Hanna has to say no to Mona, she is uninvited to the party with a dramatic ”Screw You!” Hanna is feeling out of control right now, so she decides she’s going anyway. After sneaking chocolate bars in the woods at fat camp for 5 summers, she’s not afraid to go solo. Especially to find A, after A txts the whole school that Hanna had liposuction last summer. It seems odd to me that A lies about this, when it doesn’t seem he or she has lied before. Ashley deals with being broke a slightly different way, grand theft. Poor Mrs. Potter, those were some pricey butterscotch candies.
Meanwhile, Aria’s house is basically falling apart without her mom. She has no clean clothes and is forced to wear her dad’s tie as a belt. As Byron collapses in the single parent vacuum, it seems Ella is blossoming. She’s painting again and she’s reconnecting with Aria. Something tells me Aria will not be holding up her end of the ‘no more secrets’ pact though. A leads her to a poem Ezra wrote about her, the oddly titled ‘B-26′. The poem is terrible, FYI. Aria doesn’t really seem to understand her age or the law. She’s angry that Ezra “gave up”on them even though he loves her. Because that’s what adults do when facing prison time Aria. Adults also close doors before having incriminating arguments, a skill she should learn since Noel walks in mid love confession and breaks up the party.
Remember Ian, at Alli’s memorial? Turns out Aria’s not the only one with a thing for older guys. Spencer and Melissa call a truce to their hatred of each other, and just in time for Spencer to encourage Melissa to go out with old flame, Ian. You see, Ren isn’t the first guy she’s stolen from her older sister, she also “had a moment” with Ian. Is that what the kids are calling it now? Spencer confesses all to the girls, and tells them Alli knew about the first kiss and thought she was awful.
Blahblahblah, lets get to the snuggling. Emily still can’t believe Toby is a bad guy, when he was so nice to her. She takes appropriate action and decides to talk it out in Maya’s arms. Maya says everyone has a dark side, and rubs her girlfriends shoulder sweetly. Apparently the girls are now to ‘answering each other’s cell phones’ level, which I believe in high school is one level above sexting and one below Facebook official. Some heavy breathing on the other end is creepy, but is outweighed by the footsteps heard downstairs. In a triumphant, heartwarming, and totally unrealistic return from Afghanistan, in walks Emily’s dad! Of course the expected hugging and squealing ensues, and the awkward “this is my FRIEND Maya” we all knew was coming. Emily’s mom less than subtly kicks Maya out so they can have some family time over baked potatoes.
Still haunted by Toby, Emily later has a nice discussion with her father about honesty and integrity. “Theres an honor to being truthful.” He says, “Emmy, you know it’s always better to be honest than to tell a lie,” and she takes a deep breath. It almost seems like she’s going to tell her dad about Maya being more of a girlfriend than a girl friend, but she chickens out. Which is fine. Seems A has slipped her mom the photobooth photos of Emily and Maya kissing. Not cool A, not cool at all. That secret won’t stay secret for long. Although I’d hate it a lot if they had Emily’s parents go predictably homophobic. Handle with care writers! (continued on next page)