Recap: Glee, Season 3, Episode 7 – I Kissed A Girl, aka The Episode Where Glee Kicks Lesbians in the Taco

3) Girls are crazy and/or morons and need boys to save them. Not only do we have Finn the Wondrous rescuing troubled Santana, but we also have Puck doing double duty in saving Shelby and Quinn.  Poor, pathetic single mom Shelby needs an 18-year-old high school boy to take charge at the hospital when baby Beth gets hurt. She can’t put together a crib, she can’t get Beth to sleep without Puck playing guitar, she doesn’t know how to ask for a specialist at the hospital – thank god there’s a man around to take care of things! This is bullcrap and we all know it, single moms are like the MacGuyvers of the universe, capable of rare feats of ingenuity and efficiency. Shelby is hot, talented, and way too smart for Puck – in short, this romance is a farce and an insult to women.

Quinn, for her part, has gone absolutely batshit crazy in what has become Ryan Murphy’s signature character assassination. After trying and failing to steal Beth (the baby she never wanted) back from Shelby, she decides the next best thing is to get pregnant (while still in high school) again, and she tries unsuccessfully to seduce Puck. This, after realizing that having a baby almost ruined her life. After realizing that Puck is too immature to be a father, and after realizing having a baby would rob her of dreams beyond Lima. Why? Because not only is she crazy, she’s also a moron. Luckily, Puck stops her and tells her how special she is and what a bright future she has, which snaps her out of her nutso haze and allows her to think rationally again.

Thanks to Finn and Puck, the women of Lima will once again be safe from themselves. The two idiots who have prayed to a grilled cheese sandwich and gone to prison for stealing an ATM are the ones to save the women of McKinley. Stab me, please.

4) Where in the World is Brittany Pierce? In an episode which referenced Brittany and Santana as being together, included Santana’s coming out to her parents and grandmother, and ended with Santana’s acceptance of herself, you’d think there’d be a single meaningful conversation between her and her alleged girlfriend. Hey, me too. Turns out we’re both wrong.

Brittany had more lines about pixie sticks than she had with Santana. This episode spent more time talking about Coach Bieste eating turduckens (more on that in a minute) than it did on Brittany supporting Santana, discussing their now-public relationship, or any other logical, relevant bit of supporting storyline. It’s ridiculous, illogical, and annoying as all hell. Also, I give up.

Finn the Great spent more time in this episode telling Santana how wonderful and amazing she is than Brittany did. Think about that for a second. At this point, they’ve so infantilized Brittany (and made her a crap “girlfriend”) that I almost wish they’d pair Santana up with someone else. Either way, not having any interaction between them in such an important episode to their relationship is inexcusably poor writing. Baffling, really.

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4 total comments on this postSubmit yours
  1. Avatar of mwalsh

    I agree so much with this recap except the part of Brittany being a bad girlfriend. She essentially said all the stuff Finn said to Santana this episode last season. However, I do think Brittany should have been more involved with the storyline. She is out now, too. Does the show just ignore bisexuals now?

    Avatar of Danielle

    Danielle Reply:

    Yes, and it pissed me off that Finn got credit for saving Santana when he basically regurgitated what Brittany said earlier.

    That said, Brittany’s been rubbing me the wrong way lately. I don’t know if it’s the “I said if we were both single, we’d mingle” speech, which is essentially “hey, if I’m not busy I’ll date you,” or it’s the fact that they just make her so dumb, but she just seems to be way less invested in her relationship with Santana than Santana is. And that bugs me to no end.

    And yes, we are in absolute agreement in the ridiculousness of not having Brittany be a part of the storyline and episode. I think the show ignores anything without a penis, frankly.

  2. Avatar of mwalsh

    No, I agree with you that Brittany isn’t really showing that she wants to be in the relationship, but I think she just doesn’t want to push it. I also think she needs an episode where we she her POV that doesn’t involve magic combs, Santa and leprechauns. I am just in denial I guess because I can’t not ship Brittana. Plus, I don’t think they would have another lesbian/bisexual for Santana and I really don’t want them to add to this already enormous cast.

    Avatar of Danielle

    Danielle Reply:

    I understand, I’ve been onboard the SS Brittana since season one. I’ve just become really jaded by the way they’ve written Brittany. I’m sick of getting my hopes up for Christmas and unwrapping a turd. I haven’t totally abandoned my Brittana candle just yet, but they really have to do a lot better.

    I’d hate to see guest girlfriends, too – I just miss the Brittany with a brain who was the one asking Santana to sing lezzie songs together.

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