Lez Review: December 20-26

…a synopsis of the past week’s news, in festive verse.

Twas the day after Christmas, that wonderful commercial holiday,
After a week of bill signing, the President’s gone on vacay.
He repealed DADT, now homos can serve,
Openly and proudly, like we deserve.

Kerry Eleveld got Obama to talk about gay marriage,
While Joe Biden just mouthed that it’s gonna happen.

Our wifey was everywhere, on the cover of Newsweek,
And she even talked to Whoopi and Joy on TV.

The UConn grrls broke a record; Target’s donating more money
To a bunch of bigoted politicians, because “they’re business friendly.”

Daily Motion posted the salacious Black Swan sex scene,
But quickly removed it, because it was considered too obscene.

Now all attention is turned toward year-end lists,
Of the “greatest,” and most “popular”—but who gives a shit?

“I do! I do!,” I passionately exclaim,
Lady Gaga is better than Justin Bieber anyday.
Did you see that meat dress, or her shopping pantless at Bergdorf?
She’s the queerest by far—that’s including my fantasy of Blair Waldorf.

Besides, what else is there to watch on the tube?
An informercial about the Shake Weight? There are no more xmas cartoons.

How many times did you watch A Christmas Story?
Or Charlie Brown’s Christmas, with lesbos Patty and Marcie?

This week is done, thank Jane Lynch, my Cherries,
Now I’m going to play outside with Deleuze, my puppy.

Don’t shoot yer eyes out!

- Marcie Bianco

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