Lez Review: August 1 – 7


Ladies, I love England. I’ll even confess to a certain delicious English Muffin taking my virginity (technically speaking). But, there are some things about this great nation that confuse me. The controlled, monotone-voiced omniscient narrator of The Candy Bar Girls confuses me. The conceptually Jersey Shore inspired reality show The Only Way is Essex, yes, confuses me. You know what else confuses me? Pussy. No, not that one. The other one—the “natural energy” drink promoted throughout the U.K. Sure, I believe Pussy’s makers when they say that this spectacular beverage is “made with a blend of fresh white grape juice from Southern Italy,” because, as this second generation Calabrese will tell you, only the best Pussy juice comes from this region of the world. Still, this product confuses me, especially as it intimates a contradiction in the English specimen herself: can one present a “stiff upper lip” whilst drinking Pussy? And, what would the Queen say?

Earlier this week, Stephen Colbert analyzed the danger presented to the American race if the US Government funds birth control:


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He has a point, though, about the human population consisting of a large number of unplanned (not “unwanted,” take note) pregnancies—which is kind of frightening, considering that the earth is breaking under the weight of its human population. But, lest I straddle my famed hobbyhorse, let’s move on….

…to the newly revealed cover art for Jane Lynch’s memoir, Happy Accidents, which is really…purple:

We have to wait until 13 September for Lynch’s book, but this Tuesday, 9 August, a sequel to one of the BESTEST contemporary novels, Lev Grossman’s The Magician King, arrives in bookstores. The Magicians is a book that I like to describe as Harry Potter for disenchanted adults—it’s fantastic, and Grossman’s writing is unadulterated with p.c.-filtering; just brilliant. So, this Tuesday, Imma run to the bookstore in my pjs for a copy. SCORE!

~Marcie Bianco

@MBHauteWriter

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