…a synopsis of the past week’s news, with no mention of that thing that happened across the Pond
This week’s news was dominated by two events: one that involved many teeny, tiny, garishly colored hats; and the other that involved a prized document signed by a woman named “Stanley”:
Saturday night at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Seth Meyers’s nerves seemingly got the best of him (and clearly affected his comedic rhythm); half his jokes fell flat in a performance I’d grade “meh-to-mediocre.” Perhaps he was freaked out by Donald Trump’s death-stare that was directed right at him, since the Donald was the butt of many a joke. I mean, the man is taking credit for the release of Obama’s long-form birth certificate, which effectively proves the Donald to be a liar, since he claimed earlier in the month that the birth certificate didn’t exist and that the public would be shocked to learn what his men were “discovering” in Hawaii.
President Obama, of course, ROCKED his 15-minute standup routine. How hilare was his use of Hulk Hogan’s theme song?
And, on a side note, Michelle Obama was looking SMOKIN HAWT! (Look at that post-sex hair! Look at that cleavage-revealing dress! YES!)
Minnesota’s Senate approved of a measure to ban gay marriage in the state, which now prompts a statewide election for its final approval—cuz, you know, the delimiting of the rights of a minority groups is, like, totally constitutional.
On the topic of gay marriage, Rhode Island is pulling a slight of hand (gay marriage? What’s gay marriage?) by introducing a civil unions bill this coming Tuesday. CD has more on this item in addition to other news pieces in her activist column—read it HERE.
Former West Point cadet Katie Miller was denied re-entry into West Point. Even though DADT has been repealed in law, its not yet taken, let’s say, institutional effect. Miller spoke of her rejection with Rachel Maddow this past week:
I remain confused about Miller’s decision to re-apply. Didn’t she state earlier—during the initial hullaballoo surrounding her case—that she was planning to attend Yale? (In fact, she is already a student there.) It—her decision to re-apply, her frustration with her rejection, etc.—all seems a bit contrived in this regard.
In other Lez News: Lady Gaga performed “Judas” on Ellen DeGeneres’s show this past Thursday, the same day that Margaret Cho played Kim Jong-Il on 30 Rock. Tegan and Sara are auctioning two Hancocked-potatoes to raise money for Japan (you can place yer bid until 5 May). The 7 June release of The Runaways tribute album has been announced by Kik Axe Music; our wifey, Jane Lynch, landed the role of Mother Superior in the upcoming Three Stooges film; and lesbian sci-fi writer and critic Joanna Russ passed away at the age of 74 this Friday.
The glorious and glamorous Michelle Pfeiffer turned 53 on the 29th of April; HuffPo honored her with a piece on her style evolution—click HERE.
Have ye heard of The Vanishing of the Bees? It’s about, well, the vanishing of the bees, and the monumental consequences of the dwindling bee population on all species’ populations, including the human one. Ellen Page has been involved in the film and has promoted it for months now. A new Kickstarter project has been established to raise money for the 87-minute film to be edited into a 30-minute, “educational” film (for school-age audiences). Check it out, and give a damn.
May your May be filled with lovely flowers, Cherry Grrls. May your May also be filled with scantily clad ladies….ready for Aqua Girl?