Twilight star Kristen Stewart has fallen victim to lesbian rumors lately.
As a Twilight hater (sorry…kind of), I have never felt any personal connection to Kristen Stewart at all. In fact, I found her constant bored look and shy demeanor really annoying. And when she cheated on Robert Pattinson, I was extremely annoyed. And then later, when they got back together, I had completely had it with the Twilighters.
So, as someone who automatically zones out at the mention of werewolves and vampires, my ears did perk up a little when the L word was thrown into the mix. Last week, the National Enquirer published a story claiming that Stewart has switched teams and is now a lesbian.
How did they come to this conclusion, you may ask?
A tip from an anonymous ‘insider’ and a picture of Stewart wearing a backwards hat, both clear signs of lesbianism no doubt.
And the mysterious lesbian that made Kristen realize her deep down love of women? Katy Perry’s assistant, Tamra Natisin.
The insider told the magazine, “They arrived together [at the Hotel Cafe in Hollywood] and spent the entire night talking to each other, ignoring everyone around them. After a few hours they left together.”
If claims like that make you a lesbian, then I’ve got some shocking news to break to my friends. We go out of our way to ignore everyone around us. And if we don’t leave together, then we’ve got bigger issues.
I was a little disappointed when I was researching Stewart’s past and found that my celebrity crush, Ruby Rose (and out lesbian), even gave into the seemingly ridiculous rumor by saying at the MTV Movie Awards two years ago, “I’m sorry but Kristen Stewart has to be a lesbian,” she tweeted. “I don’t mean to stereotype but isn’t it obvious?”
As a blonde haired, heel-wearing, sorority girl lesbian, I’d argue that no, Ruby Rose, it is not obvious.
Apparently the MTV Movie Awards did nothing for Stewart as far as clearing up her sexuality that year. Even cycle 5 contestant of America’s Next Top Model and now MTV News correspondent, Kim Stolz (another out lesbian) tweeted, “The 2 most important moments tonight were Sandra bullock confirming that she’s truly incredible & k-stew confirming that she’s truly a lesbian.
So the rumors surrounding Stewart’s sexuality may be nothing new (though she was in a relationship for years with actor Michael Angarano before starting another lengthy relationship with Pattinson), but apparently now the proof is there. And by proof, I mean the source saying, “Lately, Kristen and Tamra have been spending all their free time together.”
The real kicker of this whole debacle is that Stewart’s alleged lesbian lover may not even be a lesbian at all. The source told the magazine that Natisin may play for our team because she’s “very vocal about equality for same-sex couples, and even attended a gay pride rally in the past year.”
So, be sure to tell your friends to stay away from backwards baseball caps and people who support gay marriage or they too will be sucked into the lesbian rumor mill!