As Joan Rivers is finding out, it’s never too late to try out being a lesbian.
At the ripe age of 79, she has finally experienced her first woman to woman kiss. And it wasn’t half bad. Though, lez be honest, that’s no shock to anyone here, is it?
“It’s like the Katy Perry song ‘I Kissed A Girl,’” Rivers explained to her daughter Melissa on the season three premiere of Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best? “And I don’t know if I liked it or I didn’t like it, but I woke up this morning with an incredible urge to play golf.”
And who can we thank this? None other than two of the greatest lesbians to ever grace this Earth but Lily Tomlin and Jane Lynch.
“Lily Tomlin, who is my very good friend, she and Jane Lynch had a dinner party, and I met this lovely woman,” Rivers explained on The Today Show. “At this point, all the men I go out with remind me of my father–dead. I figured I might as well try it at this point. Maybe I’ve been missing something.”
Well it’s no secret Joan, you definitely have been missing something. But hey, at least you discovered it at all!
Rivers met “Shirl” at the dinner party and the two hit it off. In fact, they enjoyed each other’s company so much, they decided to go out again, just the two of them. How steamy.
Rivers wrote in her WE tv blog, “I am not a lesbian – I don’t even like golf. But I am looking forward to a nice, quiet, candlelit dinner with Shirl tomorrow. Sure, she’s a charming, attractive lesbian, and I’ve been celibate since the Carter administration. But really, what could go wrong?”
A few drinks later, one thing led to another and Rivers found herself lip-locked with Shirl.
Being nearly 80 years old, Rivers decided to momentarily switch teams because she decided she had nothing left to lose. Plus, she brought up some very valid reasons why being with another woman is so wonderful.
“I tried lesbianism because I thought ‘Geez if you’re with a woman, automatically you double your wardrobe,” she told WGN-TV. “Unless of course you’re with someone like John Travolta.’”
Melissa did seem a little shell shocked when she found out that her mother kissed another woman. However, in the last season of Joan and Melissa, Joan smoked pot for the first time so really, nothing should be a surprise anymore.
Rivers claims that the kiss was not made for television, but an ‘in the moment’ decision. She also said that she will not bat for the other team, but I believe she deserves points for giving it a shot.
So, I think I speak for all of us late lesbian bloomers when I say thank you Joan Rivers for showing the world that lesbianism knows no age.
Season three of Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best? airs on Saturdays on WE tv.